This is a trauma response. You may have been physically more still, but your stress hormones and your brain is on overdrive, preparing for a disaster.

I a really sorry it is taking so much out of you and sending you virtual support.

Good therapy that shows you how not to pre-worry, and maybe some judicious meds if needed to get through a hurdle.

I think it also helps to say it out loud to someone - like a friend if not your therapist.

Hope you are ok now

There is always that concern of recurrence. This diagnosis caught most of us off guard, and now it is hard not to be overly vigilant, second guessing every new ache or pain. I decided to name that anxiety "my shadow". Just like a shadow, it is always there, just more visible some days than others. I remind myself on the harder days- that life post-bc diagnosis is like stepping off the curb. We can cross with the light, look both ways, listen for traffic, etc- but something bad could still happen. But I have done everything in my control to cross safely, so I step off the curb and go on with my life. In my post-bc life, I am keeping my appts, staying active, making healthier choices with diet, stress management, being social, etc. If it comes back- it is out of my control, and I will deal with it then. Life is too short to let cancer take any more joy or peace of mind from us. It takes practice to get better about this- but the peace it brings is so worth the effort! Good luck in finding the strategies that work for you! Hugs!

I relate to this so much. The fear of recurrence can be exhausting, especially when every new pain or change makes your mind immediately go to the worst case scenario. I try to take it one day at a time, stay busy with the people and things I love, and remind myself that a symptom does not automatically mean the cancer is back. It’s definitely easier said than done, though. Glad everything turned out okay. The PTSD is real. Sending you a hug. ❤️❤️

Aww yes :I too obsess over "how long do I have" --- its all surreal . Today I tried to consciously stop those thoughts --- Not sure it worked all day - but I did manage to do a good walk & read a book outside. ...
Hugs to all ... i try 🤞🤗

BB2, I had a similar experience about a month ago. My therapist advised me to give myself grace, acknowledge the fear and journal.