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I tried telling him I think it’s from going through the chemo now I’m in this post menopausal range. He told me “well it’s in your control, if you don’t wanna have sex then we might as well just be friends”. That was a selfish comment obviously but come on what man would want to have sex with their wife if they’re just going to lay there with no interest in it at all. 🤦🏽♀️ sorry if it’s TMI.
Leesa I am so sorry you have to deal with this along with your diagnoses and treatment. I would like to make a thoughtful reply like @A MyBCTeam Member did and forgive me please for being outright brash but if I had a husband that pulled that number on me, I would tell him to go buy a damn magazine, go into the bathroom and get to work. Seriously...the nerve. Whatever happened to 'In sickness and in health' 'For better or for worse'?
I hear you @A MyBCTeam Member.
I do not have Triple Negative Breast Cancer. I have IDC ER+/PR+, HER-
About 1.5 years ago I fought back with my Medical Oncologist and saw a GYN and a Sexual Medicine MD. They agreed to Estrogen replacement-after discussions. Yes, I had no idea that Sexual Medicine was a specialty. ISSWSH.org "Find a Provider" International Study of Women's Sexual Health. I get healthcare in Minnesota. Your husband seems to be "missing the boat" does he not understand all the stressors and changes that are happening to your body and emotionally? Is he immature? Is he all about himself in the bedroom? Sorry, just trying to figure out what the disconnect could be. TMI?
What I have found that helps significantly:
1. Coconut Oil- lots of it- daily inside and outside
2. Revaree Vaginal Inserts (Bonafide) Helps with vaginal moisture
3. Estroven Complete (Oral)- Rhubarb Extract- No Estrogen. For Hot Flashes- Works great.
4. Imvexxy 4mg - Vaginal Inserts- Estrogen. Yes, it is estrogen. However, Research does support the use even in Breast Cancer patients related to the micro uptake. The OLD RESEARCH was NOT specific to populations, ask your providers about that research and WHAT WAS ACTUALLY STUDIED and REPORTED.
So, IF YOU WANT to have a Sexual relationship again, some of these ideas above CAN HELP you.
Also, There is Therapy and/or Couples Counseling that can be supportive and helpful to get communication open and flowing.
I was so happy and surprised that I got my libido BACK after the Aromatase Inhibitor Drugs took away all my Estrogen and dried up my vagina and totally trampled my desire for any intimacy at ALL. Now we are BACK to WHEN we FIRST MET. WELL.....almost we are much older now. LOL
That is what I can share. There is HOPE! Not too much TMI. We are sexual beings and that is Quality of Life!
Sending Positive Vibes out to you!
lol leesa. You worry about you at 100% . Your health and healing is more important than his orgasm. Men are really something else. If the mood strikes then great but if it doesn't you don't have to force it. How can women think about sex going through something like this? I'm sure some can but I think its probably normal not to.
@A MyBCTeam Member I love your response!! 🤣 I told him something similar. And told him it’s his loss because I don’t feel like I’m missing out on shit I’m going through enough 🤦🏽♀️
Loss of sexual desire is an extremely common side effect of breast cancer treatment, particularly due to chemotherapy-induced menopause. You're not alone - many women experience these changes, and it's not something you can simply control. Women who experience menopausal symptoms are twice as likely to experience sexual Show Full Answer
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