by Kristy, an ambassador of MyBCTeam
When I was younger, I used to fear death. “What happens to us?” “What if I never see you again?” I used to ask my parents questions all of the time. One night when I was having trouble sleeping, my dad said to me, “Kristy, we are all going to die. It’s a fact of life, but if you spend the rest of your life worrying about when it’s going to happen then what kind of life have you lived?” My dad is a smart man. I took these words and ran with it. Not knowing that these words would help me throughout my entire life. When we received confirmation that I had cancer, I asked one simple question, “What’s next?” I didn’t cry, I didn’t freeze up, this was the fact, and all there was to do was to fix it. The recommendation was mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation…the whole kit and caboodle. Then came the most devastating news…with chemotherapy there is a 50% chance that I will become infertile. I couldn’t believe it.
We opted out of fertility preservation, because with the state the economy was in, it was hard to justify depleting our savings and we didn’t qualify for financial assistance. There was also a bit of a risk in it because my cancer fed off of hormones. I turned my focus from having a family to making sure I’m still alive for the family that already existed. After all, if I ever wanted my dreams to come true, then I had to be alive for it.
In November 2009, after two rounds of chemotherapy, my body was thrown into a chemically induced menopause. I chose not to let it scare me. I knew that there was at least a 50% chance that I would come out of it. I also knew that there was nothing I could do about it and that I needed to focus on the positive, not the negative.
In March 2010, I had a dream one night. In my dream, my grandma came to me. She looked at me and said, “Kristy, I just wanted to let you know that everything is going to be okay.” That day, I came out of my temporary menopause. Grandma was right. Everything is okay.
In September 2013, my husband and I welcomed our first child into this world. When I look at Nate, my world makes a little more sense. All the trials, all the waiting, it was all worth it. Nate was the child meant for me. Everything about him is perfect. He is my angel.
But that is not the end of my story…there is much more to come from this life. In October 2014, Nate will be a big brother!
I guess if I had to pick one moral from my story, it would be to never give up on your dreams. You never know when they will come true, but in order for them to come true, you must never stop believing that they will.
Now I have a baby, and not cancer.
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