My little niece was 7 when I got diagnosed. On the day of my surgery she just thought I was having a big biopsy, never mentioned cancer because she takes things in really deep…I went through a single mastectomy and wear a prosthetic (making sure I have it on when she comes over) In time I will tell her but for now I just can’t scare her little mind. Only my sisters, my pastor, a couple of close friends and my son and family know so….

My two boys were grown when I was diagnosed, I decided not to say anything until all imaging and needle biopsy reports were in, I had met with the doctors and determined my treatment plan. I had done a lot of research, but it turned out- that while most cancers are hormone driven, mine was not- so a lot of what I had been reading did not even apply to my situation.

I would, even with younger ones (having taught both preschool, and special ed elementary and middle) wait until I had my treatment plan worked out. This way you can tell them in an age appropriate way, answer their questions, and reassure them that there is support for you available. Do they have friend or cousins near you? If so, get your family and friends on board, so that they can have playdates, etc. and you will be able to have rest breaks!

When people say- Let me know if I can help, have answers ready!! A meal on treatment days, If you have dogs, ask if they might be available for dog walking, if you are under the weather.

I don't know how often you see the grandkids, but if it is frequent, or you take care of them while the parents work, you might want to advise their parents to let their teachers and school counselor know so they can offer extra support if and when needed in that environment. If they have a church family, perhaps they can let the pastor know so that the kids have another person they can share their concerns with.

Keeping you and your family in prayers as you navigate this together!

Hi Barbara....that's a tough one. My nieces were 2 months and 2 years old when my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer so they were too little to tell and understand in the beginning. My mom died when they were 6 and 8. She never did feel it was right to tell them she had cancer since it can be a scary word, but she did tell them in age appropriate ways they could understand over the years that grandma was sick and the doctors gave her medicine to help, but sometimes grandma would not feel well and need to rest. That was my mom's way so our family respected her wishes on the topic.

There's lots of kids books out there that can help explain a cancer diagnosis. Kids are pretty intuitive and resilient. Over time and as you go through treatment he will probably sense there is something going on. Maybe it would be a good idea to have a talk with his parents about if or how much would be appropriate to tell your grandson about the diagnosis at this time. He might be mature enough to learn the news now or perhaps he would do better learning a little bit at a time over the next few years as he gets older ❤️

To all the grandmas reading Barbara's post, please share how you approached telling your younger grandkids about your cancer diagnosis.

Thanks to all of you, you're so helpful. Look forward to this group