@A MyBCTeam Member, I totally agree with you about meeting with the reconstructive surgeon prior to cancer surgery.

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A MyBCTea...

Hi Karen, I just had a double mastectomy in February 2025 with no reconstruction due to having to have radiation. It was and still is to some extent a shock and difficult to deal with emotionally sometimes. I wear a bra with inserts and so that helps with outward appearance and my husband is super supportive of what’s best for me. I may eventually do reconstruction but just taking it one day at a time right now. The thing I wish I would have done was meet with a reconstructive surgeon before the surgery just to see what my options were beforehand. Hugs to you and I know you will make the best decision for you.

Hard decisions about mastectomy and reconstruction. It has to be difficult . I know if I had to face more surgeries at my age I would choose not to . Just remove the breast and send me home and don't expect me back for reconstructive surgery. I would just want to heal from surgery and not have to worry about all the risk that comes from reconstruction surgery.
I understand though the appearance or lack of breast may be too traumatizing for younger women & thats its almost mentally necessary to go through reconstruction.

I was going to go flat until I met with my plastic surgeon prior to my mastectomy. He took so much time to explain all my options, showing me photos, explaining all the risks, giving me his thoughts on the likelihood of my being satisfied, given what I envisioned regarding reconstruction. I had my mastectomy in December and will be receiving my implant (with a lift to my natural breast) in a little over a week. Although the breast tissue expander does take some getting use to, I’ve not regretted my decision. It is a personal decision that only you can make, but knowledge is power, and knowing all your options prior to surgery is powerful. I’m 69. Prayers as you navigate this journey.

Karon,

Let me give you a perspective from someone who’s had a double without reconstruction. It was a personal choice and I am very very happy with it. Let me list the positives for me. It is a personal decision and you need to listen to your inner voice and intuition as to what you will be comfortable with.
For me:

-I love being flat. Most people don’t even notice because if they don’t know you had bc, they’re not paying attention to it. On a few occasions I will wear a bra with some inserts in it if I don’t want to disclose my history.
-it’s symmetrical and easy on the back.
- i got used to the scars pretty quickly. Yes at first it was a tad scary to look at the scars but that’s mostly because it was a sudden change from having breasts and the scars were still red. Over time, all of this fades away and you get used to it and don’t even notice it. If your husband is ok with it, that’s also very lucky for you.
-I’ve heard too many horror stories of women going through multiple surgeries (like 5 or 7 or even 9) to get to their final reconstruction result. I did not want to spend all this time on that. It can take a couple of years. So think about it. Do you want to be in and out of hospital for this long?
- there is a lot less risk of infection with just a mastectomy vs reconstruction. This can be major. It’s not uncommon women catch staph infections, which can be life threatening
-unless you reconstruct from your own fat, the breasts will feel cold and hard. And you will still have scars on them anyway.
-my goal was to remove cancer. I did not want to traumatize my body more than necessary.
-i looooove not wearing a bra. I can also now fit into some clothes that were too small for me before.

So these are all the pluses that made me decide for no reconstruction. Also, I don’t feel any less of a woman at all. I think being a woman is a lot more than having breasts. I think they’ve done some studies and women find it worse losing their hair than their breasts. I agree. Hair is external, while breasts are under clothing and are less noticeable in your overall appearance. I also think that the older you are the less you need your breasts. I understand that young women still want that shape and do reconstruction. I’m 55 and feel very comfortable with my choice. I also like that it’s symmetrical. Now, there is some tightness and what they call the “iron bra”, especially at night. I suspect it’s the pectoral muscles that get tired and tight at night. But I also have very thin skin and my PT said that it’s because there’s no fat left under the skin that tends to pad the muscles. Hence the tightness. Not everyone has it. But even with that, I’m pretty happy.

So, again, it’s a very personal choice but don’t feel bad if you can’t do it for one reason or another. It’s totally doable. But you also need to have a self-accepting and self-loving mindset. And talk to your body and tell it you love it just as it is!

All the best!