@A MyBCTeam Member I see you are in Wisconsin but not near the Twin Cities. Angel Foundation and Gilda's Club were two groups given to me as a resource being in the Twin Cities area. Maybe they have Wisconsin locations...??? Or online activities/resources. An activity a friend of mine did with her two boys, around your daughter's age at the time, was to paint a mask. It was done at the local hospital. On the outside of the mask the kids paint what they think others see or what they show others. On the inside of the mask they paint how they feel or what others might not see. Your daughter commenting about no one knowing how it feels to have a parent with cancer, maybe an activity like that would help her. Not sure how big your daughter's school is, but reaching out to a counselor and asking if there are any other students whose parents have gone through anything similar and who would be willing to talk with your daughter if she wanted. That was offered to my oldest son, but he did not want to sit down with anyone and talk, although I wish he would have. My oldest son did start taking school very seriously after my diagnosis, similar to your daughter. In their minds that is probably the one thing they can control. Navigate as best you can, whatever you choose to do will get you both through this time. ((Hugs))

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A MyBCTea...

My son was in 1st grade. He was a little nervous when we used the word cancer because we had just put our dog down because of bone cancer, but after explaining the difference between human and dog treatments, he seemed fine. We kept reassuring him the doctors were saying positive things abiut my treatment and I was still fully involved in his activities. We kept things as normal as possible. He adapted fine.

WONDERFUL that's she's open! The two of you will weather this in a way that brings an extra layer of lifelong intimacy that *might* not have developed to that degree otherwise, really. 😊

Well I have college age children, one of them my daughter became introverted and would barely talk to me while I was in rehab. My son was angry at the doctors for not diagnosing me earlier. My husband was a lost puppy and was trying to juggle of the task I do on a daily bases. My two college children want me home . They kept saying things are not the same. After a while they did not want to come to the rehab to visit me. Now I'm home, they are willing to help me with whatever I need. They did have a tough time focusing on there courses, eve though I told them I'm here for them. Some times they make me feel like I can't help myself with anything. Other times they ignore me. Today, I ask my husband I'm I a burden on the family? He said absolutely not, came over and gave me a big hug. I felt a little better. He gave me my nightly tea, rub on the lidocaine cream and aquaphor on my back. Then kissed me goodnight.

My kids were 11,12, and 15, when I was diagnosed. My oldest took it pretty well. He would ask questions and I would do my best to answer them. My 12-year-old daughter stressed some about it, but didn't want to talk about it much. I think my youngest was affected the most by my breast cancer diagnosis. It seemed to make him moody and edgy. I tried to encourage my kids that I would fight cancer through treatment and prayers. My church was very supportive through words, meals, and prayers. I tried, to be honest, and open with them, as to not hurt them and answer questions, as they arose.