Oh Melsie , so good to see you post — it’s good to talk about things like this.
First off, your feelings are real—never feel ashamed or embarrassed about how you feel.

Breast Cancer is complicated in how it affects each of us. Our sexuality, after all we went through, definitely is a common area that is often misunderstood by our partner/spouse and others.

Part of it may be the medications we were, or are on. Part of it may be the surgeries we went through.

It’s ok to feel differently now - but our sexuality is still an important part of who we are.

You say you have no sexual desire. How does this make you feel? Are you ok feeling that way? If you truly are ok feeling that way, then this is ok.
Or does this make you feel sad or frustrated? If so,

I encourage you to talk to your ONC or primary doctor about this.
Also - Have you talked to your partner about this? Are you feeling pressured to feel something you don’t feel?

For me, my desires are definitely different.
My husband doesn’t really understand that I strongly desire hugs, holding hands and just being close to him—and that not all of this affection necessarily means I am interested in sex. And so, it’s complicated.

My hope is that things aren’t complicated for you!
I want you to be happy!

Sending you hugs!

Hi, girls! (long post warning lol) It's comforting to share experiences here. I've been through the whole protocol in 2018 - - surgery, followed by 6 months of hard chemo and radiotherapy. I've been on tamox for 6 months now. On one hand, I'm thankful the side effects are not as harsh (so far) as I expected. Apart from the odd help-I' M-in-an-oven feeling from time to time, nothing major's on sight - - well, except for the increasing numbing feeling regarding my sex drive. During chemo I had no issues (they had more to do with the convalescence between sessions and self-esteem roller-coaster than a consistent problem, and my then boyfriend and I managed to keep a very active sex life). Relationship over bf the end of chemo, fast forward to now - - new boyfriend, super in love. We met during treatment, so he knows where I come from, and for some time sex drive seemed to be okay. But now - - I have lots of sex drive, but having an orgasm takes a real odissey, much more than before!! It feels like a cable was disconnected inside, and sometimes is frankly disturbing. I'm thus on an active quest for recovering my sexuality (and, actually, for improving it, always). Among other things, I've read some women saying that a vegan diet helped them a lot on this. Anyone heard that too? Fact is, it's probably a multifactorial thing, and there's no easy solution. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, plays a very important role on this and, as some here hinted, even cuddling can trigger its production, and once it's flooding our bodies, it acts as a turn-on aid. That means - - don't give up practicing some lovin' ;). To me sex drive (more than sex itself) is fundamental to good living. It means health and creativity and aliveness. This makes me question the prolonged usage of estrogen-blockers such as tamoxifen (although I'm not so crazy as to giving it up altogether right now). I recommend a book with an in-depth take on estrogen x diet x autoimmune diseases and cancer by a spanish psychoimmunologist called Xavi Verdaguer. In Spanish the title is: Transforma tu Salud. Look it up on google! Also, drop me a line if anything. Keep going strong, everybody!!! Happy brand new year for us <3

Hello all. It’s been in awhile since I have been here

I’m so glad to see this post
How we all feel now after bc is nothing to feel ashamed about

Our self esteems are effected by bc. Some of us still have pain.

I’m definitely different then I use to be regarding drive and response. I use estrogen vaginal cream 1/2 gram in and out x 2 a week. My gyn had bc. She and my onc agree that this is safe to do
These hormone blockers will make vaginal walls continue to thin, making sex difficult even iif you have desire
After only 5 mths on the cream, I’m in better shape

I think drive is greatly affected from stress and being tired

Also let’s face it. Our partners can effect our drive by there rock head behaviors at times

All in all . Sex use to be really great before bc. I’m not gonna
Loose it now because of this process. It’s important to keep trying but be comfortable .
I feel disappointed in that sexual response is less but sometimes still really good

I had a b12 shot last week with a little pot. It was a pretty good night. I’m not suggesting anyone becomes a pot heads. Lol

Let’s us our are minds and efforts to remain as sexual as we want to be

Don’t give up team
C

@A MyBCTeam Member, I have absolutely no interest anymore. Zip. Zero. Nada. My husband and I are still affectionate, but in a different way. We have always held hands, cuddled, etc. Bruce is 64 years old, so physically he, umm, well let's just say he's not as virile as HE once was either😉 Our love is very profound and deep, maybe because we have both had cancer. And intercourse just doesn't have the same....priority that it once did. And that's okay with both of us.

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A MyBCTea...

Yes I have no desires also. Fortunately this is just fine with me since I’m single. I’m not sure if this may be a site affect or the medication. I know that I’m not a physician. I suggest that you ask them also.