It's still a life, but it's different than your pre-cancer life. Don't get me wrong, it all really sucks, but over time you do learn to adjust, accept, and live with the post cancer diagnosis/treatment(s) carnage.

Every time you have a treatment like chemo or radiation, have a lumpectomy/mastectomy, reconstructive surgeries, start taking new drugs like AIs, CDK inhibitors, etc. your life will change. It's a lot to deal with, especially earlier on during treatment when everything happens so quickly and your trying to wrap your head around all of it. Basically after most new things your body is subjected to as a cancer patient you have a healing and/or adjustment period and you eventually will reach what is your "new normal" in how your body looks and functions, your mind set, energy levels, treatment/drug side effects, how your clothes fit, etc.

For me after being diagnosed in 2017 and with 16 cancer related surgeries, going through 2 rounds of chemo, and having radiation 5 times I have lived through a lot of new normals. In my case, and I assume most other people as well, each new normal leaves me less physically functional than the one that came before. I've also learned that each time I go through something new treatment wise I need to get myself up and moving and as active as I can possibly be otherwise my next new normal will not reach its best possible potential.

Yeah, it still sucks and it's so frustrating, but the ability to adapt goes a long way. So does researching your particular cancer, all of your treatment options (surgery, chemo, radiation, reconstruction, drugs, etc.), which in turn makes it possible for you to speak up and intelligently advocate for yourself. Also, keep in mind not all doctors will be a good fit for you with their particular version of bedside manner. It's really common to get 2nd and 3rd opinions and to switch doctors. If I didn't research everything and fire a few doctors who were making stupid mistakes with my mortality I would have been dead years ago.

It's not easy, but you can and will get through it.

I had a single mastectomy at the end of June with a diep flap reconstruction at the same time. I was in the hospital 2 nights. I put my husband in charge of managing my medications when I got home bc i knew from my experience with chemo that it's hard to think straight when you're in discomfort. I slept in a recliner for the first 3-4 weeks after surgery and it was so helpful. I also paid out of pocket for a post op nurse to visit me once a day for about an hour to help me with the drains and to help me shower. I did that for one week post op. It was the best money I ever spent. My recovery was slower than I expected, and the area under my arm where lymph nodes were removed was the most painful. I still get muscle spasms there occasionally. As soon as they told me I could stop wearing the compression bra I did and I went braless for quite a while bc any pressure in that area under my arm caused very painful spasms. Now I can wear a regular wire free bra as long as it's not tight at all. I'm still not in what I consider my permanent bra style yet, but I see my plastic surgeon next week. I'll see what he recommends. The incision across my stomach was a bit of a surprise. I didn't realize it would be so big. They had to move my bellybutton as well so now it looks weird. Not ugly just weird. If i had it to do over again, at my age, I think i might skip the reconstruction altogether. I'm almost 66. 🤷‍♀️ My main comfort is knowing I'm cancer free now.

It might have something to do with your skin and your treatment. I know that reconstruction can be very challenging post op or after radiation. You may want to ask him to clarify why he is opposed. Good luck.

I had reconstruction after double mastectomy. I am glad I did. I like that my back and shoulders have no pain (I was a DD, now small C) my breasts look good. I have not had any problems.

I have not has chemotherapy and radiation... idk if i want to do that??. It seemed to me she was just talking and talking and would not let me say ANYTHING..... I got agrivated..... I am dealing with enough.... i feel very disfigured and it messing with me psychologically BAD.....I cant find a bra to fit... My clothes all look terrible.... I just dont know what kind of life this is....