Rejection can feel like abandonment. We aren’t built for it. We are social creatures it takes a minute of sitting with it and understanding that some people are in our lives for "A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime".

@A MyBCTeam Member I am sorry your ex put you through all this. I like that you feel you have acknowledged he was lacking, and have moved on. Life is too short to carry bad feelings. My ex was a disappointment as well. After I divorced him he used to visit my brother every year and ask if I was ok and happy. My brother finally told him he should quit coming around, I had moved on, remarried, and had now been married to my hubs for longer than that first marriage- so yes, I was more than ok, and very happy.

Getting rid of someone who isn't really there for you- just leaves you open to finding a better situation, either with someone else, or just in your own space and peace. Hugs!

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A MyBCTea...

I will be happy to be mad at your x-husband for you!!!! Rose I am so very sorry that loser could not keep his vow to you. My husband did not believe me when I told him how many husbands leave there sick spouses. We are married for life and after a horrible abusive first marriage I got really lucky. He helped with everything I needed. I had a call back on a mammo and I have 3 follow ups tomorrow. He is already planning his day around me. I know how lucky I am. Some men I just can't understand. This is when you needed him most and the coward walked away. We are definitely the stronger species! There are some good ones out there its just hard to find them. You need a nickname for him a couple suggestions. asshole, loser, coward, child, selfish, mean, dumbass, And just not a good guy. I feel better when I talk to my new husband about my ex and call him all kinds of mean names. lol We are all here for you!!!! hugs, Lee

It's really surprising who sticks with you and who doesn't after a cancer diagnosis. I lost some good friends and my husband.

My take on some of the people that leave your life is they aren't comfortable around cancer, sick people, and thinking about their own mortality or that of their friend or partner. I also think that in some cases guilt and resentment factor in there with some of the losses. I know that was a big factor in my divorce. My ex actually apologized to me about a year ago for not being strong enough to stay by my side and regrets his decisions and actions now. I wanted to smack him and I wanted to cry at the same time, but instead I managed to keep my cool and tell him I knew that already and at this point in my life I am moving forwards, not going backwards. Some people can't adjust to the fact that cancer changes their friend or partner who has endured it both mentally and physically, but underneath it all we are still ourselves even though there's been some physical and mental modifications along our journey. A person can't go through something as major as most cancers without being changed in some ways.

That being said it's also amazing who actually does show up for you. I had some more casual friends and acquaintances that stepped up and helped me in so many ways. Even some of my co-workers that I barely knew and a bartender at a restaurant I went to once a week offered to help and came to visit me and took me to and from doctor appointments and surgery or out to eat and shopping.

I've learned through it all you don't truly know many people's true nature until faced with a major crisis or catastrophe. Nowadays I don't blame most people who couldn't hack it and just try to be there, that's their own thing to deal or not deal with. There's even a couple that I pity because in the long run it's more their loss than mine.