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Real members of MyBCTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

Maybe unrelated, but you sure seem to find out who cares when you get cancer. The radio silence is crazy.

January 9
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Answer Summary

Many community members responded to the question about relationships changing after a breast cancer diagnosis, with the shared experience that... Read more

Many community members responded to the question about relationships changing after a breast cancer diagnosis, with the shared experience that a diagnosis often reveals who truly shows up and who quietly disappears, including close friends and family. Several members described painful moments of insensitivity, such as comments minimizing cancer surgery or blaming lifestyle choices, and many found comfort in unexpected support from church communities, coworkers, and even strangers. A recurring theme was learning to protect personal peace, release toxic relationships without guilt, and lean on faith and this community as steady sources of strength.

A MyBCTeam Member

I had it and took them out of my life. All toxic people I have taken out of my life

January 21
A MyBCTeam Member

Some of the worst are family- I can't really cut them out without causing more drama- so I limit the time exposure- and only answer the phone- if I am in a mind space where I can ignore needling comments! lol!

January 23
A MyBCTeam Member

@A MyBCTeam Member

You have all of us to lean on and talk to and offer support.

We all sometimes have that thought in the back of our minds.

Jack Hopkins wrote a post on Substack about how not to worry.

He said to make 2 lists, among other ideas.

1) What I can control in 7 days

2) What I can’t control in 7 days.

The choose something from the list of what you can control and do it.
(It might take 10-15 minutes.

At the end, you have accomplished something and see what you can accomplish and not worry about anything not solvable in 7 days.

💜💜💜💜💜💜

January 13
A MyBCTeam Member

Yes, your comments are relatable. I didn't tell my neighborhood associates. They told me years ago "We don't want to hear it". Expect me to listen to them...I listen. Only a few close friends who have been very supportive. You learn quickly who is calling you to talk about their woes....I listen...say "I'm great". The God surprises have been a blessing; repair men...who then share their stories. (Regular repair friends). I learned which Meals on Wheels folks truly cared. Online order people who helped...they knew because it was bc products. First tears were one stranger's kindness...on line.
God is with me every step. Treatment ends; cancer doesn't. This site is a blessing. Thank you.

January 15
A MyBCTeam Member

Thank you @A MyBCTeam Member. She’s been in my life for over thirty years but I’ve felt for the last few that she and I were not as close as we thought we were. She’s always leaned on me and I’ve always been the caretaker.In our relationship, however, I’ve grown tired of these set roles to be honest. I found out the reason she’s been shitty to me is because she lost a lot of weight and apparently I haven’t told her enough times how good she looks. You can’t make this shit up. lol I have asked her to give me space. I think it’s hard to let go of life long friendships even when you’ve outgrown each other because of the history. But you are right and so are others who have said the same. We do not need extra stress given our circumstances. Thanks again for your comment. Have a great rest of your weekend.

January 11

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